Vampire survival kit



You moved to a small creepy town in the middle of nowhere.  The sun only shines a couple of days a year.  The coffin selling business in the town is booming. The newspaper is filled with reports of mysterious disappearances and the blood bank of the local hospital is the hotspot for a serious of burglaries.   People are always trying to smell your neck…

The town is infested with vampires.

Your choices are limited.  You can become the next victim to the blood sucking immortals, join them and become a vampire yourself or be prepared and kick some vampire butt.

You will need a vampire survival kit:

  1. Garlic – Vampires have a heightened sense of smell and cannot stand the smell of garlic.  Keep a vial of crushed garlic in your kit and have bulbs of fresh garlic in the house.
  2. Holy water – Very easy to get.  Fill a bottle with ordinary tap water and let your local priest bless it.
  3. A Cross – Religious objects make vampires flee.
  4. A bottle of rice grains.  Vampires have an obsessive compulsive issue.  Throw grains of rice at them and they are obligated to stop and count the grains, giving you enough time to run away or kill them.
  5. Rope with knots – Again they will have to untie the knots first, before sinking their fangs into your neck.
  6. Wooden stakes – You can easily make your own stakes with a piece of wood.  Remember the stake must pierce their heart for them to die.
  7. Silver – Dip the stakes in silver.  If you miss the heart, they will still die.  Silver is poisonous to vampires.
  8. An axe or sword – To chop their heads off.  Warning: some skill required.Image
  9. Matches – Remember to set the vampire on fire after you chopped off his head.  You don’t want him coming back!
  10. A bag of blood from the blood bank – Maybe you can entice them with an appetizer, giving you enough time to run.
  11. A car – Why don’t you just get into the car and leave the small creepy town full of vampires?

I give no guarantees that any of the above will help you when attacked by a vampire and cannot be held liable for any blood loss.

 photo credit: <a href=””>Zé.Valdi</a&gt; via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=””>Aurimas Adomavicius</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=””>nocklebeast</a&gt; via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>cc</a&gt;